I sat myself down for a talk.

On June 19th I posted about my meeting with a behaviorist to address some of my eating issues and anxiety. At that time, I don't think I could completely fathom the power of the use of positive words.

Today, I realized that I have begun to have conversations with myself when I desire to eat something. I ask myself if I am really hungry? Do I truly need this? If yes, then why do I think I need this? Is it a good choice for my goals? That last question is a big one for me. "Is it a good choice for my goals?" This question is usually followed by me listing the goals I have for my future that are so important to me. My future goals of losing weight so that I regain my health, so that I can have my hips replaced enabling me to walk normally, and ultimately enabling me to get back to being a productive and independent person.

I think the reason that this conversation that I am having is so powerful for me is that the desire to eat something is just an impulse, but previously, I never considered the long term consequences that yielding to that impulse would have on what I ultimately want for my future.

I have been following up these questions and answers with the "I Choose" statement. Whatever my decision is, to eat or not to, I choose it. I take responsibility for it, instead of feeling like it has power over me. This has been amazingly effective and freeing for me so far. I have noticed that I don't feel deprived when I choose not to eat, nor do I feel guilt when I decide to eat. Moreover, when I do choose to eat, it seems to take less to be satisfied. Wow!

I am curious to see how these conversations with myself will evolve over time. How will my next meeting with the behaviorist build upon this? Only time will tell.